Comments are closed on that post...the author wasn't "looking for a discussion".
However, disregarding the futility of this post, I wanted to point out one thing in the aforementioned post. She states:
Because we are your parents, who labored for you in ways you can never begin to understand.
[...]
Above all, let's find ways to help the current generation of adopted children, so they don't waste so much time in the emotional limbo of wanting something they cannot have.
I presume the author thinks "they" know what is best for adoptees, yet adoptees cannot, allegedly, "begin to understand" the plight of adoptive parents. Whadda they call that?...a double standard? And from a mother too...
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On the other hand, I had been learning more about all the trouble my a-parents went through, stuff I have absolutely no memory of; how much of a pain it was to find a daycare, negotiating hours and pay at work, maternity leave, etc. But wouldn't any empathetic individual eventually think of those kinds of things?
Most of the time, I see little point in demonizing the individual when it's a larger structural problem. I also thought that was common wisdom in the community from what I've read.
I was reading today that most kids do eventually come to understand (some of) the sacrifices that their parents make, and that they would not be screwed up. Or something ... ChinaAdoptionTalk, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI don't know that you particularly have to be 'empathetic'. Sometimes empathy gets in the way of doing what is right or best.